Realistic
by Handwritten
Summary: With all the stories written about this particular topic, you'd think ONE of them would have prepared her for this. A short, realistic, awkward non-lemon.


**Realistic**

_with a super-awkward AN at the end! hooray!_

* * *

><p>It wasn't supposed to go like this.<p>

She wasn't supposed to be so nervous that the back of her knees were sweating up a storm (she didn't even want to think about the pits of her arms). She wasn't supposed to be grimacing in pain when he hadn't even _done_ anything yet.

Naminé was losing her virginity.

"Oh, it hurts." She vaguely remembers a friend telling her. "But it gets better. _Trust_ me."

And in the stories, and the books – he always enters her, and "waits while she adjusts". Then she tells him to move (usually in a breathless, sexy way), and they have blissful, orgasmic sex where their climax couldn't have been coordinated better if they had someone coaching them from the doorway.

They don't dwell on the pain too much. It might be mentioned, but it usually blows over pretty quick.

But then again, there wasn't much that could have prepared her for this in the first place.

* * *

><p>"You okay?" Roxas asked, and what meant to be a gentle stroke of her face almost turned into a loss of an eye when Naminé jumped.<p>

"What? Yeah. Of course - I'm fine." Naminé quickly said, wrapping her arms loosely around his neck, pulling him closer. Her fingers stroked the back of his neck, where his hair was softest.

They were both naked. In her bed.

It was the first evening where they would be entirely alone – for at least a few hours, anyway – that had come along in ages. Naminé hadn't been able to work up the nerve before now, but...here she was.

There hadn't been much foreplay, which did worry Naminé some. But it seemed like the nervousness was mutual – who knew when another opportunity like this would come along? And knowing her roommate, a "few hours" could be cut to a few minutes if her plans fell through. Maybe they just wanted to glaze over this initial awkwardness.

Yet they both knew they were ready. It was time.

Naminé nodded at Roxas. It was a nod that contained a lot of things. _I trust you. Just do it._

He slowly pressed against her. Naminé's eyes widened. It was much different without clothes on – the pressure was...

"R-Roxas..." Naminé gasped, tears filling her eyes. She could feel a tightness growing in her stomach, and fought against it. _Relax._ She told herself. _It'll get better._ She let out a shaky breath slowly.

But he had barely entered her, and Naminé had her hands pressed up against his chest. Not pushing him away – just not letting him move closer.

"One minute." She said quietly – even though her voice cracked. She felt scared, even if she knew she was ready. She loved Roxas. She wanted him to be her first – and he (or so he said) felt the same.

But she could barely accommodate a tampon. And Roxas was...very..._different_ than a tampon.

Roxas looked worried, and she could feel how hot his skin was. There was no embarrassment between them, and their eyes met.

"Maybe..." He paused, ducking his head slightly. "Maybe you should go on top. So you can go when you're ready."

Naminé didn't blush – under normal circumstances, they most likely both would have been read – but once the clothes are off, that kind of shame fades. Even if only temporarily.

"Do you think that'll make it more comfortable?" She whispered, not waiting for an answer before shifting underneath him. They both moved until Roxas was on his back, Naminé hovering over him.

_Here goes._ Naminé let her eyes close, and adjusted him with her hands until she felt him entering her. Her breath grew uneven, and her nails dug into his skin. He watched her carefully, murmuring words of comfort she didn't try to listen to.

"...Roxas..." She cried out in pain, moving down as quickly as she dared. This was different. It wasn't like bad period cramps. This was...multitudes worse. This was...

She quickly moved off of him, another cry bursting from her chest. The pain was deep inside. It hurt in a way that the strokes of Roxas' light fingers couldn't help. And once the first tears came, many followed.

"Naminé..." His arms quickly circled around her. "Naminé... I'm sorry. I didn't know it would...be like that..."

She just shook her head, and cried.

* * *

><p>A few days passed. Eventually, after Naminé got over the sight of the blood in her panties, they did try again. And it <em>did<em> get better. To the point where she couldn't wait to do it again.

But that first time set a few things straight for her. Sex isn't like how it is in the stories. Two people reaching climax at the same time? Well, maybe that's possible. Unlikely, but possible.

Sex can be awkward. And it's painful, that first time (and sometimes later on). It can get messy, and sticky, and leave gross stains on your sheets.

And like a lot of things, it's something you have to experience for yourself to really understand why people dress it up the way they do.

Don't always trust the fanfictions.

* * *

><p>After reading my fair share (and then some) of lemons on this site, I found that written sex is always so <strong>magical<strong>. I feel like the description of a female losing her virginity can be so washed out. Yes, reading about passion is fun, but it can be so _unrealistic_ at times.

ANYWAY – it really does hurt like a bitch, and after the initial...entrance (or whatever), I sure didn't feel like continuing that night. I think I said something like -"Go home. We'll try again later." because OH MY GOD I WAS IN PAIN. It didn't last, but it somewhat ruins the mood.

But I think that regardless of your age (to an extent), this isn't something one can be truly "ready" for. For some, it hurts less. Others, more. Unfortunately, like Naminé, tampons weren't even an option before I became a SLUT (just kidding. I'm awesome.)

Not to discourage anyone 8D GO! Get naked! Have fun, be safe, all that.

cough (by the way, I don't think going on top made it more comfortable. I wouldn't recommend that for your first time.) cough

hope this wasn't too strange. review with any thoughts.


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